Greatest Lesson of Motherhood

We all make mistakes.  We all speak, think, and do things we are embarrassed about or were not a part of us.  We are all sinners in need of savior.  A fact which has become more clear each day of motherhood.  Since becoming a mom it seems the list of "things to work on" has grown (or maybe its not that I do more wrong, just that I am more aware of it).  There is now a whole new area of my life in which I can make mistakes, and a new person it affects.

The first few months of Ethan's life really are a blur to me.. a mix of depression, happiness, sleep deprivation  hormones gone crazy, and life changing months.. (strange that something so life changing in hindsight is so hard to remember).

The happiness and lack of sleep are things I have covered in depth on the blog.  For a moment, as I reflect back on this past year, I want to share a bit of my story which isn't so pretty and so neatly packaged.  It has a bit more reality and little less neatness.  Life is messy.  Life is hard.  Life is challenging.  In those moments I become increasingly aware of the areas I fall short, and with that am reminded ever more of my need for Christ in my life.

In the early weeks of Ethan's life I had many nights when I would cry for no reason, be angry over something insignificant (though at the time it was my world.. ).. as the weeks passed the hormone craziness got less, but the overall depression got worse.  Part of me hesitates to call it "depression".. I was still eating, sleeping, and functioning (as much as a new mom can).  But when a friend came over and asked me, "Jen, when was the last time you left the house?" I knew I was in deep.. at that time Ethan was about 7 weeks old and we had taken to spending a lot of time on the couch.. in all honestly I think for about a week I only left the couch to do basic things (and at that time I still wasn't showering everyday).  That was my "low" point.. I felt trapped.. that if I didn't make a change I might still be living on that couch when Ethan was year.  (In my mind I knew eventually things would change.. but in my heart I knew I had to start that change).  It started small.. leaving the house with Ethan but without my husband.  At the time this was a huge deal for me.. I had somehow managed to go 7 weeks without doing this.

Looking back I know that it was not me who "made the change".  It was the Lord working through those around me to encourage me.  Even in my low points He never stopped pursing me.  Do I consistently pursue God? Definitely No.. Does he consistently pursue me? Absolutely Yes.  Even when I feel far from Him, or I have made mistakes, or I have intentionally distanced myself from Him.. He is faithful and He continues to pursue me.  What grace He has shown to me.

One person He used over and over and over was my husband, Steve.  He continually preached the Gospel to me.. even at 3am or 4am or 5am.. when he had a long work day coming (and I would be napping with the baby) Steve would get up and encourage me.. through prayer, reading of God's word, or just making sure I was okay.  He also pushed me to stay connected to friends (and not just in "virtual" online world, but through in person spending time together).  He knew that I needed support from others, even if I didn't.  Looking back, it was God working through Steve.

As we approach Thanksgiving.. I am ever thankful for Salvation through Christ whose love covers a multitude of sins, and for a God who continues to pursue me everyday.

1st Birthday - Lynchburg

Its taken two weeks but I am finally ready to blog Ethan's first birthday party in Lynchburg..

Location: Our church old fellowship hall which also has an indoor small play area for young kids plus the youth room which has a nice area to put the food.

People: Friends from church and their children.

Theme: Football!!

We decided to have the party start at 11am.. we arrived at the church around 930 to begin set up which took the whole hour and half.  Our friend Nancy Williams came to help us (mostly help with Ethan)

Here she is with him shortly after we finished setup..



Food Area



Cake and Presents

Ethan playing with Parker

Steve taking a moment to relax.. it was just for a quick moment.. he worked very hard before, during, and after the party.

First we ate, then we opened presents (we being Jen with Ethan near by but not very interested).. we got several great toys including puzzles and books!

Nancy made Ethan a hat.. here is he modeling it.. he loves being the center of attention.

We order the cake from Chestnut Hill Bakery.. I told them football was the theme and this is what I got! LOVED it.. and it tasted very good.

We did smash "peice" instead of his own cake.. easier clean up for mom and dad..

Overall it was great Saturday celebrating Ethan and his first year of life.. can not believe how far we have come and how much the Lord has blessed us this past year. 

Blocks

 

This video is from October 31st.. Ethan learned to stack his cups that day.. he does it so well now, but this is him in discovery mode (which I LOVE).. you also see that pride coming through as he looks for praise and gets excited by what he has learned.

1 Year 11.4.12

His birthday was last week.. I've just been blog lazy..

 

Forgot to get my real camera out the actual day of Ethan's birthday.. so here are some quick shots I took at the dinner table with the Ipad.. So these were taken on 11.4.12.. 366 days old (leap year).. 366 nights of waking/feeding/changing.. (he has only slept through the night off and on.. never consistently) and 366 days of nursing (we made it a whole year with zero formula.. which was a major goal of mine).. 366 days of love filled mornings.. wouldn't trade a single one.. 

 

We are blessed to have Ethan in our lives and we thank God each day for the health He has given us.  We pray that someday the Holy Spirit would work in Ethan's heart that he would understand his need for a Savior and accept the sacrifice made for him on the cross.

 

What a joy and a blessing it is on my heart to have God mold and shape me through this calling of motherhood.

 

 

Haircut

Before meet After

 

 

Ethan had a little extra hair in the back.. so we decided it was time to get it cut off!  I had a haircut for me and convinced my stylist to give him a trim in the back.  They had a kid sized wrap they put around him and she sprayed a little water on his head and cut it with scissors and then even used the razor for the very bottom.  He sat on my lap and only cried for a second at the very end.  Now he looks like such a little boy from behind :(  

 

 

(Photo from Ipad)

 



Hampton Fun

In late October we went home to Hampton for Ethan's Birthday.. we were blessed to be able to spend a few extra days there and Ethan had fun playing and eating at both grandparent's houses. 

 

This is at Steve's parents house.. of course, he needs every toy.. he loves playing at his grandparents.

 

 

At my parent's house my mom made us blueberry pancakes one morning.. Ethan LOVED them!

Break over.. back to life!

"And now back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress"

That about sums up my life for the last 3 to 4 weeks.. wow, what a crazy, exhausting, busy, and overwhelming month it has been.  We've had many ups and downs and many milestones reached.  Time is flying!

On October 20th we took Ethan to his first apple festival.. he LOVED it!

On October 27th we celebrated his 1st Birthday in Hampton, VA with family and friends.

On November 3rd we celebrated his 1st Birthday in Lynchburg, VA with friends.

On November 10th we attended a 1st Birthday party for another boy at church and a baby shower!

Mixed in there we had a few sicknesses, a first haircut, new foods, and other random daily things.

I have a ton of pictures and stories to share from things that have happened so I will probably do several blog posts over the next week to help recap some exciting times!

Ethan Loves his Daddy

What is our (Jen and Ethan's) favorite moment of each day?  When Steve comes home!

This video is of Ethan standing at our window in our living room.. from this window he can Steve pull into our parking space in front of our townhome.  We've watched him do this so many times that as soon as Ethan sees that blue car he knows its HIS Daddy and he squels and laughs with delight each time.  I caught it on video one afternoon last week. 

Ethan at the Dinner Table

 

We love to let Ethan feed himself.  He is great at it and we know it is great for a baby's development.  So what this means is dinner time = fun time! I took this video monday night after dinner.

 

 

 

On a completely unrelated note.. Ethan started running a fever Tuesday night and today we took him to the doctor.  Turns out he had a slight ear infection (the doctor said about a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10).  So we have antibiotics and are hoping he will be back to normal soon!

11 Month Old

This is a short video I took of Ethan crawling last week.. this boy really moves now! This is a small peak into our everyday for those that do not get to see him very often.

First {Live} Football Game

This past Saturday Liberty University celebrated homecoming.  With Steve and I both being LU alumni we love LU football - especially homecoming.  With no other commitments this weekend it was a great opportunity to introduce Ethan to Flames Football (LU is known as the Liberty Flames.. don't ask why, just go with it).  Our church also had their annual pre game tailgate party, and since we are baptist you know that this means good food and good fellowship with some great families. 

Shortley after we arrived the band started preparing to lead the "big" parade.. it wasn't very big but it was fun.

He was mesmorized and I was in marching band heaven (I played in a marching band for 6 falls in a row - 4 HS, 2 JMU)



Right after the parade.. so far he is really enjoying the day.

Yes, my son was wearing LU socks.

Eating at the tailgate.. this kid loves to eat! He feeds himself really well and now I can put food in his tray area on the stroller and he sits up or pulls himself up and eats it!

Fascinated by the game - right after kick off.

 

After Half time.. going strong.

He started to get tired during the 3rd quarter...

Luckily he had the perfect pillow.. his father :)




 

11 Months

The nights are long, but the days are short.

Someone told me this when Ethan was a baby (not sure who, if it was you, please comment below and take credit :).  As my little baby grows each day and moves closer to that one year mark, this statement becomes ever true.  Yes, my baby does not sleep through the night.  No, we have not done cry it out.  But that issue is for another post.  I just want to encourage other moms whose babies night time habits are inconsistent, that this is normal.  They are babies.  Stop setting unrealistic expectations.  You are normal. 

Now that I am off of my soap box, lets move on to days. 

Ethan becomes more toddler and less baby everyday.  He is into everything and definitely expresses his feelings.  This is exciting, terrifying, exhausting, and sad all at the same time.  Part of me wants him to stay little forever, but I know this cannot happen and it will be better for everyone for me to accept this fact of life and keep us moving forward.  But at night, when we are all alone in his room and he is sleeping peacefully in my arms I love to kiss his little head and thank God for this precious gift He has blessed us with.  An amazing, challenging, sanctifying blessing. 

He can easily cruise around our living room while standing on his tippy toes to reach something.  He can open a cracked door with ease.  He can sit and through a tantrum when you take the item he wanted away from him. 

His favorite thing in the world is his father.  I hope to post a video soon of his reaction to Steve when Steve came home from work the other day.  He gets very excited when he hears or sees his daddy at the end of the day. 

His least favorite thing is getting dressed and having his face wiped after a meal.

He loves solids and feeds himself easily and daily. 

His favorite foods are fruits, but he also loves green beans.

We are beginning to plan his birthday with a celebration in Hampton on October 27th and a party in Lynchburg on November 3rd.  We are excited for the next phase, and enjoying these last days of babyhood.

Family Portraits

Its fall in Lynchburg.. and here for many families that means it is time to get some good photos taken.  Since we have not taken any professional shots since Ethan was born we decided to make it happen before he turned a year.  And one of the great things about being a stay at home mom is that I get to plug into all kinds of mommy groups in our area - and at the same time I met a very talented photographer whose pictures I fell in love with.  The lighting, the crisp editing, the way she makes everyone look beautiful.. so when we were thinking of getting pictures done I instantly thought of her.  (That and she has warm friendly personality so I knew we would be very comfortable around her).  She took some pictures for us last weekend and today we are on her blog!  I am very excited to get these printed and displayed in our home. 

If you like these photos maybe you should consider hiring Liz for your next photo needs in Lynchburg.. we loved her and will certainly use her again in the future. 

Here is a link to the blog: Sincerely Liz, Inc.

Keep in mind that all her work is copyrighted as this is the primary way she supports her family.  Please respect that and do not copy or reproduce any of our photos.  If you would like any for printing please contact Liz or me and we will help you.

Crawling and "talking"

 

Great news.. I think I have mastered posting videos to the blog from ipad! So here is another short clip of  Ethan crawling across our living room floor and then "talking".. imagine this type of behavior all day, over and over.. and that is my usual day :) I LOVE it! 

 

Boat Riding

 

Last Saturday our Sunday School class at church had a fun class activity at Smith Mountain Lake.  Our teacher has a lovely boat and small cabin that we all got to enjoy.  Ethan loved the boat. 

 

Answer this, whats better than a smiling baby?  A smiling baby in a life jacket!! Love this picture of us. 

 

September 19th - Video

Took this video with the ipad.. its Ethan crawling to the door and then saying hi to his daddy.. we were getting ready to go for a family walk. 

Family walks are one of our favorite evening activities.  After dinner, before its dark we love to walk around neighborhood with Ethan in the stroller. 

10 Months

Well I guess once a month updates is better than no updates...

Tomorrow Ethan turns ten months old.. that means that 5/6 of his first year will be over and in just a few weeks he will be one year old.. everyone who told me to enjoy every moment because it goes fast was right!

Here are some current stats..

He weighs over 24 lbs (probably about 24 lbs. 8oz at this point).

He is in mostly 18-24 month clothes.  He has a few 12 month that he still wears but its becoming more and more difficult.

He LOVES solids.. even bananas when they are ripe enough.  He feeds himself great (but extremely messy :)

He laughs, smiles, babbles all the time.

He can pull up and sit back down now. 

He cruises (holds onto furniture and walks).

This week he started doing my most favorite new thing.. gives kisses back.. he opens his mouth really wide and "kisses" you back when you kiss him.  It feels like he is eating your face but he gets the biggest grin and looks so proud of himself.. and it tickles the receiver.. I find it adorable.

He has two teeth (maybe a third too but they are so sharp I don't take to feeling his mouth everyday now).

Here is a picture from him swinging today.

9 months in.. 9 months out!

Where has the time gone?? ( I'm sure I'll be saying that for many years to come).. today Ethan has been out of the womb for 9 months!

Here are some current stats (we went to the doctor on Thursday for his 9 month check up)

He weighs 23 lbs. 10 oz and is 29 inches long.  95-98 percentile for weight and 75th percentile for length. 

His head circumference grew just slightly and he is now on the "normal" curve, but at the 98% tile.  This is exactly what we expected and hoped for, since previously he was greater than 98% tile.

As far as development, this month he made huge leaps forward.  He now crawls on his belly, pushes up to all fours sometimes, can pull up to his knees regularly and has pulled to standing one time.

Last week he got his first tooth!

He now babbles mama, dada, baba, gigi and makes a range of other noises.. including laughing, screaming, and moaning.  He does not "call" us mama or dada.

He can feed himself somethings, but the pincher grasp is still a work in progress (this is picking things up with pointer finger and thumb).

Now for some random facts.. he loves applesauce, peaches, and nectarines.  He also will eat watermelon and cheerios.  He tolerates bananas, but its definitely  not his favorite.

His favorite time of day each day is when his father comes home.. he lights up like a Christmas tree everyday.

The number one thing people comment on? His smile! Everywhere we go people ask us "is he always this happy?" and comment, "what a beautiful smile" or "I have never seen such a happy baby".  We are so blessed to have a happy and social baby! He brings much joy to our lives.

Ethan Crawls!

this last weekend Ethan started army crawling! he moves on his belly and can't get up on all fours but he sure does move!

I also let him feed himself bananas for the first time and he did really well.. here is a picture from the Ipad of him eating.

Busy Times

Its been a whole month since I posted an update.  Sorry for the absence.  This month Steve made an unexpected visit to New Hampshire to be with his family when his uncle died unexpected the week before Memorial Day.  While he was gone I stayed 4-5 days in Hampton. 

This last week I was in Chesterfield my sister a few days and in Hampton for a few days.  I have really been enjoying time with my family, but both of those trips have been without Steve. 

This month Ethan hit a new milestone.  He now sits up all on his own.  He is into EVERYTHING he can reach now (and some things he can't).  He isn't crawling yet, but when he is on his stomach he pushes himself around a little bit.  He can push himself backwards and side to side, but he doesn't get up on all fours yet. 

We love watching him explore the world around him.  Each day he is more aware and more interested!

I am loving this age and enjoy each day the Lord gives us with our precious son.

Mothers Day

We had a lovely mother's day weekend.  Saturday we did some shopping and enjoyed some family together out for a nice lunch at a local sandwich shop.  On Sunday we went out for a nice dinner.  I love spending time with  my two boys and it was a great way to celebrate the special occasion.  Here are a few pictures from our weekend.

mothers day dinner

Saturday

6 Month Pics



This was about two weeks ago.. his first tastes of solids.  He spit most of it out.

We were in Hampton last weekend.  This is a recent cousin picture with Meme.



6 Months - May 4, 2011

6 Months

Wow! That happened fast.. 6 months of Ethan's life have been completed.  He is now half a year old.. hundreds of diapers and many sleepless nights have passed, but we love being parents and love our little guy.  I think the last month has been my favorite so far.  He has started to laugh more (but its still usually just a squeaky laugh) and he interacts more everyday.  He is sleeping better.  In the last week he has become more vocal about what he wants.  He has started to whine more and go after toys more.  It is amazing to watch him discover the world around him. 

Here are some of the milestones he has met:

-Can roll both ways, but prefers to roll from back to tummy.  He was doing this all the time, but recently I noticed it stopped for a bit.  Once he masters something he stops it for a while and focuses on something else. Often he gets fussy when on his tummy for too long.

-He can reach for something, grab it, and put it in his mouth! - Dangerous!

-He can splash in the tub.

-He holds his head when pulled to sitting.

-He can sit with just a little support, and sit without support for a few moments, but then falls over.

-This month he learned to blow his lips and blow rasberries.. of course, once he got really good at it he stopped. :)

-First prescriptions (had pink eye about two weeks ago).

He LOVES to smile at people.  He is very social but smiles for his mom and dad the most.  He lights up when he realizes one of us in the room.  His way of saying hello to someone is to give them a big grin! (Older ladies in the grocery store LOVE him).

He enjoys daddy time, especially when Steve kisses him and tickles his face with his his beard.. We love listening to his giggles.
He sucks his thumb when tired and is usually not a fan of the pacifier but will occasionally take it.

He has no teeth yet.

This month we also introduced solids for the first time.  We have tried mashed up bananas and mashed up avocado.  He spit most of it out.  He was fascinated with the spoon but wasn't too excited about the strange taste on the spoon.

Next week we go for his 6 month doctors appointment... we are really looking forward to finding out his current weight, but we are not as excited about immunizations.  Shots are never fun.

We are very excited to see what the Lord brings us during the next six months!

Recent happenings

We are almost done with Ethan's six month of life! this month has been one of my favorites. His sleep is better. We still have occasional difficult nights with him waking once or twice but most nights he does well. On an average week I get about 3 nights with him sleeping 8 to 10 hours! this month has brought some exciting changes.. He rolls from back to tummy all the time!! However, he has trouble getting back on his back and usually ends up crying. He has moved from a squeakily laugh to a light giggle.. One of the first times this happened was when he started splashing during bath time! Me, Steve, and Ethan all thaught it was hilarious! This last week he started making new noises by blowing bubbles his his drool and spitting.. It's super funny! His growth has slowed down some. Last week we had our first major sickness with Ethan having pink eye! We got prescription drops and now everything is better. I love Ethan and every time he smiles he brings such joy to our lives. What a special blessing the Lord has given us!

Easter and Hampton

Had a wonderful Easter and then Steve left for the Together 4 the Gospel conference in Louisville, KY.  I spent the week in Hampton. Spent time with family, went shopping, and then came back on Friday.  Here are a few pictures.